~~ If I Die Young ~~

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song


Lord make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother
She'll know I’m safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had, just enough time

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had, just enough time

And I’ll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I’m as green as the ring on my little, cold finger, I’ve
Never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there’s a
Boy here in town says he’ll, love my forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I’ll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I’m a goner
And maybe then you’ll hear the words I been singin’
Funny when your dead how people start listenin’

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep ‘em in your pocket
Save them for a time when your really gonna need them,

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls

~ A Few Thoughts & Feelings ~

So im back again to vent i guess, Today was a strange one ! driving to work i got to thinking about how when you do something good for someone how its supose to make you feel good and lift you up!! well lord knows i can use some lifting up!!lol Anyhow i decided i was going to go to Tim Hortins on the way to work, so there i sat in the mile long line up waiting to get my medium double double and my blueberry muffin, and in my rear view mirroww i noticed the woman in line behind me ... She just looked so sad and bewildered and then of course i got to thinking about whats going on in her life? why does she look so sad? And then i decided i was going to pay for her order! Yep i did! if anything i had hoped i would maybe make this womans day a little brighter! did i? hmmm i will never know.. But i felt good about what i had done for someone.So call it a pay it forward. So i then get to work and start my day, As im standing in front of my cart in the hallway of the hotel where i work as a housekeeper,This woman comes out of her hotel room and asks me if i was working on Sat? i said to her i wasnt quite sure, it would depend on the count . She then handed me a $5.00 bill and told me how good of a job i had done looking after her and her friends while they had stayed all week long!! I had been the one to look after these 5 rooms of woman that were in town for a bowling tournament from Moncton, and well she just wanted me to know how much they appreciated what i had done for them! I was floored! So i go back to cleaning my room , when in comes another woman, handing me $25.00 ,once again expressing how thankful they were for me tending to there rooms! The feeling that came over me was amazing!At that moment i loved my job!! i had made someone happy!! NO not just someone about 15 woman in total that were staying the 5 rooms i looked after!! my job at times can be very full filling!! and well other times just a pain in my ass ! i loved that feeling of being appreciated! But i had done my job with them and they would soon leave and i would be back to attempting to find someone else to make happy with my work i do!
On another note, i have come to realize im going through the empty nest thing!! Im alone! no kids , no grandaughter , no husband, no pets ... just me 99% of the time! and i hate to admit it ! but im just plain lonely! do i want to get a dog ? do i want another cat? do i want a stupid bird or a damn gold fish? more than likely not , but im feeling i need something, i just dont know what? I miss my kids terrible and the feeling of being needed and wanted ? i miss my husband too! I know i have my sister and my mom & dad & my nephew and that i am gratefull for !! but its not the same. I need a hobby or something! hell maybe even a friend or 2 would be nice! The feeling of being alone without anyone is a sad feeling! I come home every day and do the same thing! most times im too damn tired to do anything anyhow but it would be nice to know i had options i guess! My mothers day was nice, Tasha and i went for Breakfast, then over to visit mom , my girls got me a beautiful potted plant and a pair of rubber boots and some money to spend on me!! it was nice !! with the exception that it was my first Mothers day without both my girls! I miss so much Tiff & the baby , i hate how im missing so many firsts! my first grand child, and i cant even enjoy her! she will not even know me by the time they decide to come back home!! which breaks my heart!! Family to me means so much and without them here , im missing a piece of my heart! I do pretty good some days where im just plain focusing on work and nothing else! I find when im at work very little bothers me other than whats going on at work!! Its like when Dad had Cancer , i lived to work!! i thought of nothing! nothing bothered me there! mind you i did have a couple melt downs when dad first took sick but then i redirected all my hurt and anger and sadness on my work! basically cleaning up other people shit! lol! And i must say im damn good at it !!lolol i only wish my boss and supervisor appreciated how much effort and work i put into making there guests happy! the quests see it ! but they dont , which i find is sad! Well i guess i should go jump into my empty bed and wait for my husband to get home in the middle of the night , we had 2 days off together and im sure we can find something to get done around this house!!lol , so until i need to vent again!GOODNIGHT!!