Todays Thoughts

Well today is my daughter Tffanys last babyshower, and i can honestly say im scared as to how its going to go, My Tiff lost her best friend a year or so , and today i think will be the first gathering with her and all of her friends since the furneral , i know its going to be hard for me , so i can only imagine what it will be like for her and my other daughter Tash, i just hope noone brings anything up . Tiffany has decided to give her new baby daughter her best friends middle name.. which i find very touching! and sad all at the same time. loss as we all know is hard, but when we are faced with special occassions without that person it can be very hard. On to something else i guess.... Things around here have been pretty intense to say the least , i found out last week some disturbing news concerning my luving husband , the man i married and thought loved me like no other, the man i vowed to spend the rest of my life with ., i was so wrong on so many levels that its crazy. i learned that my husband had been having a relationship with another woman while he was out west for a year and a half . yes you read right! apparently he never had a sexual relationship with this thing called a woman , but in my eyes and heart he mid as well of, an affair is an affair!! the lies that have been told to me have cut me to the core and i dont feel my heart will ever fully recover from this, but i will move on in my life, in what direction im not sure, but i know i will figure things out! will i continue to be with my husband? hmmm more than likely not! i cant live my life always wondering and worrying about if what is coming out of his mouth is a lie!! so i need time to figure out what im going to do! how can a marriage survive an affair? or can it ? i dont know !! but in my heart i cant see me over coming this one! all i can say is i hope she was worth it ! as i have always said over the years during trying times through relationships..... " Its Better to of loved and lost, than to of never loved at all"well in this case i wish i had of been spared the bullshit! who needs love when ya can just have lust!lololol lust will be on my agenda from here on out!! as far as love goes! only in the movies! lolol and my life is far from a romance! try a horror!! lololo well at least i can make light of this messy situation!! because down the road im sure i wont be laughing!! and trust me NOR will he!! the saying goes, "Theres nothing worse than a woman Scorned" well i will give that new meaning!! trust you me!!lolol anyhow on that note im off to a babyshower!! til we meet again!