So its Chirstmas Eve Day... Another year has now pasted and new one is to begin.
The past year has been a trying one to say the least for myself , and im sure it has been for a number of people i know. This year has brought me joy and pain and saddness .My joy has been having my whole family back together again since my oldest daughter and my granddaughter moved back home from out west, my saddness and pain has come from a loss of a job and missing friends from afar. I know have so much to be grateful for and this i am with no doubt! Im looking forward to 2012 to bring me a new beginning at life.To finish my education that i so dreadfully wished i had of gotten years ago , with the hopes of a new future career.I look forward to seeing my favorite children in the world grow and enjoy new things. I look forward to seeing my Dad Healthy ! This time of the year brings me mixed emotions from the past as a child, strange it may be but for some reason i always remember my child hood in such detail at Christmas, mainly good , but some bad! I often wonder why i can go back so far in my childhood and remember? is there something im trying to remember but it just wont come ? is there something terrible that is repressed? i wish i knew at times. this will be the first year in 24 years that i will be spending my christmas eve without either of my girls,They now have there own lives and are doing there own thing, But we will all be together Christmas morning!Which is the main thing i know!! This will be the first Christmas That my Dad wont be with us because he will be working i guess, which is very hard for me to swallow! Im trying my best to not be selfish and to let dad know how upset that i really am by this , but it is hard, I find at Christmas i am just like a child , i hate change!! and i want my Christmas's to remain the same!! But this year it will not be!! But all in all!! We will at some point be together , and we all have our health! And we have Snow! A white christmas it will be!! so excited we have snow. so excited i have my family that i love more than life its self!! Im so grateful for the family i have! with quirks and all!! Im gratefull for my husband who works and provides for me like no other ever has, we have our differences this i know , and at time he drives me crazy as im well aware that i drive him nuts too!! lolo But we love eachother even with our faults!! Im grateful of the memeories i have of loved one who are no longer with us , but are watching over us ! Memories for me are gift from god!! Without them life would be sad i think! Well i must go and prepare for Santa's arrival tonight! Merry Christmas to you all!! and to all a good night!! lol May 2012 be a wonderful year!!
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