Well it is now Feb15th/2010 , I spent Valentines Day working yesterday but recieved beautiful roses delivered to work! they are just beautiful, i also got some chocolates and a card from my girls, My husband has been on the road for almost 3 weeks now, i like it, then i dont!! i love my space! alot of people cant understand how it really doesnt bother me that hes gone all the time, The way i see it is, the marriage has a better chance at lasting , if were never together!!i know im terrible! but hey him being gone works for us for the most part. Something else that is new is how my oldest daughter Tiff and her boyfriend went to Moncton for the 3d untrasound , and it was truly amazing to see that little life growing inside my babies belly! so amazing yet so sad for me i guess, The life i gave birth to is now grown and is about to experiance the most amazing thing in the world, and the scariest , Child birth , and motherhood!! Im still finding it so hard to believe that im going to be a 37 year old grandmother! wow.
Well on to something else, someone jumped off the Westmorland Street Bridge yesterday , of all days Valentines, ya see when things like that happen, my brain gets going, wondering how or why a person could do something like that , not only to themselfs, but to there loved ones, a persons frame of mind would have to be in pretty bad shape to be able to climb on a railing on a city bridge and just jump! was it a cry for help? was this person hoping someone would pull over and help them? or were they really just tired of living in this life? or were they pushed? hmm just never know! you hear people say all the time how a person that would kill themself is just weak! well weak maybe, but also strong you would think ? strong willed and minded to be able to actually climb up there and have the strenght to go through with it ! i dont know , just my thoughts i guess! On to something else.....Something that really gets my blood boiling, even typing this is going to be hard from me to do , but im going too, March 31/2007 my cousin Troy was killed by a drunk Driver, he was the only one killed in this accident with 6 people in the vechical , with the young mother of 2 children driving this car , intoxicated and under the influance of drugs! and with her 15 year old sister in the car as well!! they all lived but my 19 year old cousin!! until the other day the anger and torment that had taken over my life , my thoughts , and mind had been buried for a bit.This woman was Sentenced to 36 months in Federal Prison on June 22/08 .... i was informed this poor excuse of a human being has been out of prison since sometime this past summer!! ahh i dont really think her time was completely served.Myself and my family will spent the rest of our lives serving our time grieving and missing our Troy! this waste of life that took my cousins life , will get to watch her children grow,will get to enjoy the finer things in life my Cousin will not!! is that justice? i would say not ! am i a little bitter ? your damn right i am , and that will never change. will i ever have forgivness for this woman? never! if it was just a accident that killed my cousin? maybe! but her choice and ignorance and stupidity is what took the life of my cousin! i owe her nothing! Bitter is maybe putting it mildly im very angry, and dread the day i run into this woman, i will be saying my little prayer" God just give me the strength to not cause harm to this woman" i could go on for ever about this , but i wont tonight , when i found out this woman was out, the rage that came over me actually scared me , i had the urge to look her up , find out where she was living? is she on facebook? ect.... i had to make myself stop .I know that all the anger i have will never bring our Troy back , i just have the urge to make this woman hurt!! ugh this city is only so big and i pray to god she stays out of my way ! Well on that note im going to end this entry, i got my own blood boiling, and i gotta work in the morning which means i need to sleep tonight!! so til then im off.
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