Today i cried

Today i went to work , to the place i feel like there is nothing in the world that can bother me , i think of nothing!!!!!!! its my place away from all this crap in my life,
Well i went for my lunch break smoke and a lady was out there that works with me, shes and elderly lady that has just returned to work after being out for sometime with Cancer, this monster has taken over her whole body , and insteand of sitting home and dwelling on it , she goes to work , her hair is slowly growing back from the chemo , anyhow as we sat and smoked we chatted about her fight with Cancer and my dads fight with cancer, there i was at my place where i think of nothing, and there i was sittin and smoking and i could feel the tears starting to swell in my eyes as she spoke of her fears, she told me , " im not scared of dying" and " im not scared of the pain" " All im scared of is leaving my children" then she said i guess i wont go through the heartache of losing my children because i will already be gone! my heart sank and there i was crying with this woman who is pretty much a stranger to me , i felt her pain and i saw it in her eyes, i had to leave and return to my unfinished room i had already started earlier, there i had a melt down in the washroom, then the rest of my day was focused on my dads fears, and my fears as a mother, All i kept thinking about was how dad must be feeling? how i would feel? this woman knows shes going to die! its just a matter of time, i cant even begin to imagine! all i know is what im feeling now about my dads situation and i can barley stand this , so NO i cant imagine! So to say the least today was a pretty emotional day for me !! i could not get home fast enough!! and driving home , all i wanted to do was to tell my kids how much i love them , and my mom and dad and sister!! i never want to loose my family!! the pain i could not bare!
Maybe tomorrow will be a better day!!